Tier list of SPAM flavors

As someone who has eaten a lot of SPAM in his day, I will cover my opinions on what I believe to be the best, and worst SPAM flavors of all time. Let’s get into it!

 

Spam Classic: Hard to beat, solid flavor. They’ve used the same formula for a long time for a reason, tastes like pork, and slightly like bacon. Very delicious with many types of sauces, sides, and dishes. Highly love.

 

Spam 25% Less Sodium: Hard to tell the difference between this and Classic Spam, basically tastes the same. If I was smarter, I would probably buy this more often than normal Spam!

 

Spam Lite: Tastes worse than normal Spam by quite a big margin. Not sure why. It almost tastes like something is missing from the Spam. Really weird!

 

Bacon Spam: Did not tastes as much like bacon as I would have hoped. If there was a bacon in a can sort of thing, I would have loved it! Unfortunately, or fortunately, this just tastes like normal Spam for the most part. 

 

Turkey Spam: This Spam is made with 100% turkey instead of the usual pork. It is harder to sear because the Spam is so much leaner without having pork as the main ingredient. Probably healthier, needs more oil to get a good sear on it without flaking off. Tastes basically like turkey bacon, not bad.

 

Hickory Smoke Spam: Tastes like Spam with a bit of liquid smoke inside of it. Not bad at all, but it doesn’t really add much, and the smoke flavor is very light. The smoke flavor also tastes cheap. I would rather add my own liquid smoke to regular Spam.

 

Hot and Spicy Spam: One of the better flavors. The hot sauce used to flavor this Spam is Tabasco sauce, and it even dyes the Spam a bit red. I like this a lot because I like Tabasco, but that’s basically what it tastes like. Spam with Tabasco. I love it, but if you don’t like Tabasco, you probably wont.

 

Jalapeno Spam: One of the worst Spam flavors. There is just goey squishy jalapeno chunks in the Spam and it is almost impossible to cook the jalapenos since they are incased within the Spam. Leaving all the jalapenos undercooked and kind of gross. Did not like this.

 

Teriyaki Spam: This has to be my favorite flavor. They basically just cover the Spam in the can with Teriyaki sauce and it is great. I added Teriyaki sauce a lot of the time to my normal Spam, and this just does it for me. Excellent sweet and savory flavor, love it.

 

Black Pepper Spam: It really didn’t add much for me, and I’d rather just crack my own black pepper on normal Spam. They embedded Black Pepper into the Spam and it kind of ruins the texture of it, didn’t really love this one, although Black Pepper and pork is a great combination so they had the right idea.

 

Chorizo Spam: Tastes like store bought Chorizo, almost exactly. The texture of course is not the same, but it would be hard to tell if you ground it up and served it for breakfast. It of course is not a top tier Chorizo flavor, but for the most part it can compete with Chorizo bought at your local supermarkets.

 

Portuguese Sausage Spam: Has the same qualities of the Chorizo one, tastes almost exactly like Portuguese Sausage that you’d buy at the store, couldn’t compete with high end sausage though. Really liked this one, texture is lacking the crunch you get from normal sausage, but overall pleasantly surprised by this one.

 

Spam with Tocino: Did not like this one that much, all I could taste from this was a slightly sweet flavor, and besides that not much else. It tastes like you could just sprinkle a bit of sugar on your normal Spam. Might be missing some of the more subtle flavors. 

 

Spam Garlic: Kind of gross, it has embedded garlic, which is really impossible to cook and uncooked garlic is really not my favorite thing. Garlic is much better when browned. Would much rather cook my own garlic, and Spam on their own than have this flavor. 

 

Spam with Cheese: It’s just Spam with little Velveta cheese type chunks inside of it. It is really hard to taste the cheese, as Spam is already very oily and fatty, and the cheese is basically just more oil and fat. Was disappointed at the low level of cheese flavor here. 

 

For the tier-list, [S] is the best, going down to [F] which is the worst.

 

[S] Teriyaki, Hot and Spicy

[A] Chorizo, Portuguese Sausage

[B] Classic/Regular, 25% Less Sodium, Bacon

[C] Spam with Cheese, Hickory Smoke, Turkey

[D] Tocino, Black Pepper

[F] Garlic, Jalapeno, Spam Lite

 

As we can see, hot and spicy and teriyaki are the winners, I think it is hard to beat these guys. Chorizo and Sausage were next, because they tasted almost exactly like them, and it was not bad at all, quite great actually. At [B] we have the classics, which are hard to beat, bacon is alongside them because bacon practically tastes the same as the classic flavor. At [C] we have Spam with Cheese, because it is just a more oily version of normal Spam, Hickory Smoke for the cheap smoke flavor, and Turkey because the turkey flavor was quite hard to cook. Below that we have Tocino, because the flavor was really hard to taste, besides just a sugary sweetness, and Black Pepper because it did not really add much and ruined the texture. At [F] we have the worst ones, Garlic and Jalapeno because they are just undercooked or squishy bits of the garlic or jalapeno within it, which really is just not great. If there was some way to sear the jalapeno or cook the garlic, this would be much higher, maybe they should just brown the garlic at the factory? Spam Lite is at rock bottom, because well, diet Spam is just a sad thing. 

 

That’s my entire tier-list! Remember it is just one dude’s opinion, but I think most of us can agree that Teriyaki is delicious. Anyway, have a great day and thanks for reading. 

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